My Creator

In this final unit of my class Who am I? we focused on Doubt and dream. In this last Action project we were assigned to make a dream catcher and explain what it represents to us. I really enjoyed how in this unit we had many discussions about what our own experiences with dreams were like and how that impacted our lives. I was assigned any essay/reflection to write so we could completely evaluate what what me us ourselves an what is our Creator.

The center of a dream catcher represents somebody’s creator or bliss. In the center of my dream catcher I have a piece of one of my favorite photographs, this is somewhat my creator because I like to do photography and it makes me who I am. Therefore photography is the creator of who I am. I chose to put my favorite photo in because it represents what I want in the future- my best photo will lead to even more good photos. I want my future to be photos as a hobby, and a side job that I don’t want to get paid for, this is why this photo is so important to me. I want for the catcher to take away some of the unfortunate and negative thoughts that have been happening to me lately. I want it to take that away so I can focus on things that I want in the future like better cameras and taking better photos. When I was younger I was always worried about the future, so I  held this down with a lot of repression that wen to the unconscious.

For the threads making up the loop I used dark blue thread to represent what I don’t know and how I don’t know. I wanted this to be the base color of the hoop because I feel as if I wanted to represent the good future letting things in as dreams (hence I don’t know the future) while bad things in the future could be held back into the hoop to burn in sunlight. I made the bottom hanging thread out of brown thread because to me brown represents strength and determination, I wanted a good future in photography leaded by strength and determination. I made four with one bead on each to represent a strong stable future because that’s how I want my future in photography to be. Some good things that I want the dream catcher to let through would be to own a clothes business and do photography as a background. I made the inside purple thread because purple is my favorite color so I want something I like to be the barrier between my good hopes and dreams between things I don’t want. Otherwise it’s like hiring a security guard that looks super shady. I had accidentally made the center of my dream catcher look like a crucifix, I'm not religious so it doesn't line up with me. I am agnostic so I don't know if I want to believe in a god.

"dream catcher" IF 2017

I had a dream only a couple of weeks ago that displayed a lot of good fortune and hope for things that I want. My dream had me and my brother walking on the underpass of a bridge where two people wearing my favorite clothing brand we loading some of that brand’s clothes into a black van. I was super excited and I asked one of them if that was what I had really been seeing, then the person tossed me a hat without saying anything but gave me a cheery smile. Then the other person got in the car and said we could have the rest of clothes they left behind. I hope more dreams like this happen so I could more focus on what I want. Around the time I had this dream I had been just staring at things that I had wanted.

"Dreamcatcher" IF 2017

An Uncompromising World

In this our first unit of Who am I? we focused on what we believe in, others believe in, and  how that effects our lives. Throughout this unit we focused on truth and memory and how that makes a person who they are. I really enjoyed this unit while we learned about philosophers and learning about people's experiences with their truth and memory. This unit made me really reflect on who I am and how I like to interact with people. I was assigned an AP where I needed to talk about what was my truth and how that effected my identity.

Podcast Script

Hello, I’m IF and we’ll be talking about what is true to me and how it affects my life. I also hope to make you think about what beliefs and truths guide you and help you make your decisions. While I was contemplating about my beliefs and which I wanted to present, I came up with the question “How do your beliefs change throughout your life? And what do those beliefs change about your personality?” This thought led me to my answer, which might seem quite dark and sad at first, but I hope you can see my reasoning and how it has positively affected my life. I believe that the world is uncompromising and you can only make life as easy as you want it to by doing what you want.

I believe that the world is a very uncompromising place, nobody cares about how about you feel or your perspective. This is very true to me because this is what I was taught, have experienced, and probably will experience again. When I was younger my dad told me that the world wasn’t going to give me anything and that you need to work for as much as you want. I took that very seriously and figured out that people hold me back from what I want to achieve. When I was in 5th and 6th grade I focused a lot on schoolwork instead of things that I liked such as drawing and gaming.. I remember my teacher saying “well done ,” after turning in a series of my projects that I had all gotten all A’s on. She asked me, “How does feel being such a hard worker” she said with a cheery smile on her face. I responded with a sly grin and baggy eyes that had clearly shown discomfort while saying, “Tired mostly and I could go for a break.” After turning in a large amount of projects that I had gotten A’s on I didn’t feel any reward out of it. From the numerous times this happened this led me to my conclusion of making decisions that I wanted to do, That was how I was going to get the most out of life. This is why most of the important decisions in my life only involve me.

Throughout my life I’ve had many experiences where it was very necessary to focus on what I want and be independent with my decisions. When I was growing up, I experienced massive amounts of issues with my personality and ideas. I hated myself and didn’t want anything to do with myself, which I’m sure that every person deals with sometime in their life.I came to the conclusion that I wanted to talk to somebody, a parent or teacher about how I was feeling. But, I decided not to do that and instead analyze myself on a deeper level, which was both hard and pleasing. I still don’t know exactly who I am. I saw that I really didn’t care about other people that much, not to the point where I’m a sociopath but just not as much as I thought I did. This led to me being very independent.

Because this belief makes me such an independent person I can’t really relate it to my family or other people. But by being more independent, I feel like I’m more destined for greatness. I don’t need to worry about others dragging me down. It sounds super ignorant and self-centered but it helps me think of what I want first instead of other people. It’s still interesting that I work so well in groups. This mindset is separating me from my family and culture in a way to where it is bringing me closer to them. When I decided to start being more independent, I started to be a more observational person and look at what made people how they are , which played a key part in understanding myself and what I did.

All in all I really focus on bettering my life by being alone in my decisions. Overall this belief has caused me to explore my feelings, preferences, and ideas more to see my potential.Truth is something to follow and believe that will guide your decisions. So I’ll leave you to think about this question- What truths and beliefs guide your decisions? And how do those decisions affect your feelings, preferences, and ideas?